I am extremely contemplative and tired. The two together result in a broken thought process but I'd like to vent and chew over something that is demanding my attention.
I can't help but feel a bit cheated when I think about the way the concepts of Christianity were presented to me as I was growing up. Before I begin, I want to clarify that I know God has a plan and a reason I learned principles this way and therefore I trust in His good judgement. At the same time, we humans mess up a lot and I want to pose even just the beginnings of thoughts of how I think we fail as Christians to represent the gospel correctly. I don't pretend to know everything... but it's on my heart and I want to write it down.
I think many people fail to understand or realize the love of God in their every day lives, while drawing much too much attention to the law and the problem of morality. I was told from an early age that Jesus loves me and this is true. But I also feel that many of those around me sought to impress upon me what was expected of a good Christian girl more than they helped me to realize what that love meant for me now and in the future.
Understandably, love is a much harder concept to swallow than not drinking too much or not swearing. I feel therefore we often shy away from that concept and look to the expressions of our love (aka being "good") to stand in as our love. Let me try to explain. A man who lives a righteous life but does not know his beloved cannot say any of his actions were loving. Perhaps what he deems as loving is contrary to his beloved's character and considered evil by whatever object he is yearning to impress. So many times I have heard people try to rely on their actions as proof of their love. The difference is so slight. Yes actions can often be indicative of someone's love and they are very good things. But if you love someone... do you really have to point out all the things you have done for them? If you know them, you will not feel the need to display these as proof. Your beloved will know... and that should be enough.
Better yet we hold our righteous actions out as trophies for all the other striving religious people to see. This is in direct opposition to loving your neighbor. Show the person the object of your love... Christ, and they will begin to understand for themselves how to best live out a life of love for Him. I think if we could master this, then edification in the church would flourish. People would no longer feel the need to boast in their abilities because everyone else would be praising and encouraging them for the Godly lives they were living. We wouldn't be breeding a judgmental nature in the body because people would finally begin to realize how deeply loved and accepted and cherished they are by the God of the universe. We don't need love from people when we grasp that truth.
And Christian, don't think because you are a Christian that you alone have entered into this privileged status in God's eyes. No matter who you are, what you believe, or what you have done (GOOD or BAD) you are loved just as fully and deeply as the next person. That is truth. We begin to mess it up when we stop believing that... or implementing harsh standards on ourselves or others as some kind of proof that we love God. Would it make you angry if I told you God loves Hitler just as much as He loves you? I know this is harsh but we need to get over ourselves. There's nothing nothing nothing we can do to make God love us less or more.
I am not saying there are not times that people need to be counseled in living Godly lives. I just don't want to see God taken out of it.
Before I leave I want to make sure I clarify something very important. You will hear me say this over and over again... but I write this post just as much or even more so to myself as I write it for anyone who stumbles upon it. I do not understand the fullness of God's love and I do put daily pressures on myself to perform a certain way instead of taking time to fall more in love with Jesus. In fact, I don't even know what that fully looks like. But I will not stop seeking because I hunger for it and I know it already belongs to me. So why not own that love and enjoy it?
I could write about this for years but I think that's more than enough to start wheels turning.
A small glimpse of the sunset today. Sometimes love is written in the sky.
